I have such low blood pressure that I over-salt my french fries just to give it a little boost. Or I would, if I ever ate fries. And how do I know this? Because I have a Withings blood-pressure monitor in my home, letting me keep track of the meanderings of my heart.

But if searching for your iPhone, and then your Lightning-to-dock adapter, and then looking for the monitor itself are too much for your fragile ticker, then consider the Blipcare monitor. It still comes with an iOS or Android app, but instead of a direct connection it uploads its data direct to the cloud via Wi-Fi.

The kit is easy to use, and is aimed at all the fat Americans who have hypertension — one in three of them according to the Blipcare folks — which sure is a good-sized market. There are two buttons on the front, so two people can use the device to track their blood pressure. This might make the ideal holiday gift for your parents, as long as you can convince them to wrap the cuff around their arm and hit the button in between gulping mouthfuls of junk food.

The Blipcare is currently seeking funding on Indiegogo (Pepsi to Kickstarter’s Coke), but it appears that this is just a way to drum up business for the $150 monitor: If you pony up an extra $10, then you can have one rushed to you in time for Christmas, which makes it sound like these are ready to go, in limited numbers at least.

• SourceBlipcare