Jabra, purveyor of absurd and dorky ear-jewelry to corporate stooges the world over, has invented the Solemate, a portable, battery-powered Bluetooth speaker with a sneaker sole glued to the bottom.

Despite its pun-tastic stylings the Solemate has some unique features. First up, it has 3.5mm jack cable stowed in the base. Second, it can connect to a device via USB, as well as Bluetooth and the aforementioned cable. Third, it has three (3!) speakers at the front and a bass panel at the back. It’s impossible to tell by watching the promo video, but this sounds like a recipe for big noise.

You also get volume control (but no playback controls) plus a microphone for making calls.

All this for the expected, expected price of $200. Available now.

• SourceJabra