Really, what the world needs more of are apps that let male users photograph their junk, decorate the photo with a weird variety of stamp art, like moustaches, hats, and neckties, and share these photos around to others.

Honestly, what? I don’t even.

Maybe sending plain old dick photos is so yesterday? Have we reached the age where we need to decorate our ill-advised junk photos for sexting purposes?

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I don’t know any women who truly want that photo. I suppose if you do, and it’s a consensual thing, hey, have at it. Put a cowboy hat on that penis picture and send it along to your lady. Or boyfriend, or whomever.

But come on, guys, do we really need an app like this?

One user on the Google Play store thinks so, but wonders why the in-app purchases are so dang expensive.

“Cute idea…lol…but its yet another app by a dev trying to rip users off on in app purchases. You get a few decorations for free….the rest cost you a buck a piece. From one dev to another, users don’t respond well to being ripped off. If you can’t really use an app without paying a premium to do so, not worth it. App slows down the phone and there are no auto focus or flash.”

Why this user think a developer who decided to put an app with the sole purpose of sending penis photos on the Google Play marketplace would do anything but attempt to get get as much money as possible from in-app purchases is beyond me. It’s not like anyone is going to pay for the app up front.

If your idea of a consensual romantic activity is sending mustachioed phallus pics to your sexting partner or partners, then Dickorate might be for you. For the rest of us (and please let that be all of us), we can wish for the long lost innocence of a good fart app.

While I don’t necessarily agree with all of Apple’s puritanical policing of their own App Store, I thank my lucky stars that this app will never show up on my iPhone.

• SourceGoogle Play